Coming from a heart space of love and light, I thought I’d take the opportunity to reiterate my thoughts on my role as a ‘Funeral Celebrant’.
Just for the record, most of you will relate to the definition of this as: one who officiates a civil funeral service.
(But please don’t mistake it as ‘officiates secular funerals’ as this really isn’t the case. We do whatever our families wish. Anything!)
So I guess I do that…. but there’s soooo much more to it.
I’m no fan of labels (as most of you very well know!) and ‘funeral celebrant’ is no exception. However, our human vocabulary is somewhat restricted when it comes to matters of the heart, matters based on FEEL instead of thought, matters that many often wish to not acknowledge or engage with. And that’s okay.
But here’s my take on it:
Let’s bring it back to basics.
I am a human being, not a human doing. I feel. An enormous amount.
I am a human being who tries to help other human beings when they’re faced with the death of a loved one – and boy does that manifest in many different shapes and sizes!
I am interchangeable, wearing the hat that my family requires me to wear – all of which is ascertained by FEEL…. not by filling in forms, categorising belief systems, or through the expectations of the death industry or through ignorance. I am purely led by FEEL along with the intent to serve a family and their deceased to the best of my ability, and that is achieved by tuning into the mindsets of the people I’m working with, letting them guide the process based on their own feelings and doing whatever makes them comfortable. But throughout, gently supporting them, allowing them to sit in the pain and acknowledge that it’s okay to feel that pain….
Because losing someone you love flippin’ hurts!! It really does!
And through acknowledging and honouring that very valid pain and anguish rather than burying it and repeating the mantra ‘I must be strong and carry on!’ comes some unexpected beauty and clarity… Something most of my families have felt and described after the funeral has taken place but can’t make sense of.
It’s release. It’s FEEL. It’s quietening the mind to allow those feelings to lead the way, and being okay with not having to understand everything that’s going on in our thoughts and heart. It’s just being.
What I have described here is a snapshot view of the time I spend with my families, working with them to create a special day (yes, a ‘funeral’) that fully and wholly emulates their loved one and themselves in a manner that is organic, gentle, but truthful.
Some require more time than others, some require no assistance at all while others welcome heavy guidance. Hey, we’re all unique and do things in our own ways. It’s my job to establish that and fit in where I’m needed.
What’s my point?
Death isn’t a one size fits all situation, therefore how can we ‘funeral celebrants’ fit a rigid typecast label?
We are who you want and need us to be in your time of loss. We will not dictate or direct you in how you should approach a ‘funeral’, but instead we offer a blank canvas, we listen, we empathise, we quickly pick up on who you are, how you feel and allow those basic human sentiments to lead the way forward.
And there, my friends, is where you can find the beauty in death.
Love and light to you all.
xxxx